i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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