Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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