I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
