did you get engaged???
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
