Plan B is the new Plan A
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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