no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
