how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
