Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
