i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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