yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
