OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
do herpes really smell.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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