Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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