I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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