Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If I die, sorry about rent.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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