also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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