I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
