yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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