just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
