her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
