i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
