he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
