they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
