so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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