You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
