I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
