Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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