where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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