I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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