u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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