so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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