yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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