Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize