He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
