Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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