:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
