I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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