Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I bet he comes in French.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
