i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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