Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize