I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
