a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
