then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
