life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
