hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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