I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize