She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
