this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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