i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
