Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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