I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize