Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
