I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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