I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
There's even glitter on my cock...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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