yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
this hospital has no fireball
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
