Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
