Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
