Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
