You just made me feel so damn special
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
