It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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