why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Pooping to opera.
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