I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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