no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
