but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize